Carmelo Anthony, New Jersey Nets

I gotta give big props to New Jersey Nets owner Mikhail Prokhorov for shutting down the studio on the Carmelo Anthony trade once it became obvious that the Denver Nuggets had the loose lips of a narco snitch and that Carmelo wasnt interested in signing a 3-year, $65 million extension with any team not called the New York Knicks.

Once the Russian billionaire found this out he did what any self-respecting man would do. He called off a hot date with the Nuggets All-Star forward on live TV. Burn, burn. Its been too long and too expensive, Prokhorov said. The English translation: This whore just wants my money. Then he had New Jersey Nets GM Billy King text Denver and the Detroit Pistons to tell them the sexy 3-way is off. Having your best friend do it? Thats priceless.

So theres a reason why this whole situation should piss Chicago Bulls fans off. Now all the sudden Anthonys agent is saying his client would be receptive to a trade to the Bulls. And Carmelos boy William Worldwide Wesley is expected to travel to Chicago for Bulls games on Thursday and Saturday against the Dallas Mavericks and Cleveland Cavaliers. You might remember him from last summer when he used the Bulls as leverage for Lebron in his dealings with the Miami Heat.

Oh really do the Bulls look that desperate, Carmelo? The Bulls dont have the worst record in the Eastern Conference (next to the Cavs) like the Nets do. The Bulls are 28-14 as I type, and were 18-4 at home. Derrick Rose is our Point Guard. You know that dude, Carmelo? He runs the show here in Chicago and last I checked he wasnt looking for a crutch like your boy Lebron.

Chicago doesnt need this kinda drama, and I hope John Paxon and Gar Forman ignore all calls from the 303 area code and delete William Wesleys thuggish voicemails without listening to them. What Worldwide Wes must not understand is how we love Joakim like we loved Dennis Rodman. We arent about to diss our dope-smoking rebounding machine for the next Free Agent Tramp of the Month.
Hopefully Bulls fans can take comfort in that last summer Bulls executives investigated a trade for Carmelo, but Denver insisted the Bulls include Joakim Noah in the deal. Pax and Gar laughed at that, talks cooled quickly, and Bulls fans can only hope its still funny.

The truth is we never wanted Chris Bosh. We never wanted Lebron. And we sure as hell dont wanna be Carmelo Anthonys easy mistress while hes engaged to be married to the New York Knicks in 2012. Take your talents to Madison Square Garden, you whore.
Derrick Rose for MVP!

Rich Laskowski
The Region Rat